Addicted to Expectation
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Delight yourself also in the LORD; and he shall give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
One morning as I awakened, it was particularly hard to get out of bed. I had been extremely stressed at that time and it occurred to me, I just wanted to feel good about life again… I just wanted to feel normal again. To feel passion for something again. There are so many responsibilities in life and sometimes it feels there is too much to bear, the burden is too heavy. Then I thought: Is this where addiction starts? Trying to feel normal through the hard times in life?
An addiction is like the glue that we use to fill all the cracks, but it does not work and drains out, forcing us to get more.
Addictions take on many forms. It can be thoughts, tv, food, people, and even worry, let alone drugs and alcohol. We must acknowledge that our hearts yearn for something healthy. We fill it instead with things that hurt us.
Some addictions are incredibly deadly, however, all addictions take away true joy, freedom, and health. One of my favorite cop shows was about the crack epidemic. One cop asked the detective why it was so hard to say ‘no.’ The detective answered that people find it hard to say no to the best feeling they’ve ever had.
An addiction is essentially something that covers or numbs the pain that one feels deep down. We need this “fix,” whatever it may be in any case, to keep us feeling better than our circumstances – or our own mind may keep us.
The above bible verse speaks to my heart and tells me that God is greater than any feel-good replacement for His presence and relationship. The answer is so simple: Delight yourself in the Lord!
Tired of trying to find passion in l’inverno (the winter)?
Me too.
Maybe our “purpose” is to push through the dark times, relying on God and not our feel-good God replacements.
In so many words, a great singer once said: Slap the paint on the canvas. Write the words. Be what makes you – you. It may not be perfect – what is? But when you do it, it may just bless someone else.