Be You!

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Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman wakes but in vain. Psalm 127: 1

God’s will for my life, was my main question for a long time. Everyone said it would be wonderful and truly line up with my own heart. Nonetheless, it was a monumental struggle for me… with years of nothing to show.

Last year I watched a movie about the war in the Balkans. This war occurred when I was a child and I remember hearing lots of news about it. Since then I met many people from the Balkans who lived through the war.

The movie told the story of some well intentioned aide workers, trying to access clean water for the people of a village that had something decaying in the local well. At almost every turn, they were stopped from helping the villagers and removing the thing that contaminated their water. They would make a couple of strides, then fall back.

Despite the intentions of the writer or director, this movie spoke to me about my own intentions, all of my best ideas to do grandiose things, or even just meaningful things. We may try and try to do the right things. Sometimes every turn we are blockaded. Especially (in my case) if we are not leaning into God.

Our greatest desire to be someone and to do something great can turn out wasted. Even if we think our motives are perfect. The movie spoke to me profoundly about my own desire to do something great and to be “someone” as a missionary or aide worker, helping those who don’t have the means to do for themselves…

I realized that I only want to help others because God first helped me. It is for Him that I want to do the work. I also realized that if God does not do the work through me, I will only be doing it for myself.